Stage fright… By: iGebadia

When you start out doing videos you go back each day, each hour, each minute to see if anyone watched them. Getting a comment is always a big thing. The first few months is really about finding your voice. After awhile you build up a loyal following and then watch half of them leave cause you don't always do videos that agree with their perspective on things and you start to question should I change who I am. There is always that internal struggle.

For a guy like me who has always sounded off about stuff I didn't agree with it has been a very difficult thing for me. Particularly now that I have a facebook application and 3 websites. Suddenly I am faced with the whole Michael Jordan dilemma that republicans buy shoes too. Here was me the guy who always prided himself on having the courage to stand up for what he thought was right having to censor himself. However after watching tubers sxephil, ishatonu and others whose names escape me I found a little bit of courage to be me and to be honest it is not always easy because it often feels like the only place I am aloud to be me is online.

It is scary sometimes when you do a blog or a video and you show a piece of yourself. It leaves you feeling naked inside. However after a while you get use to it and you sit there watching your sub list sit at 280 viewers and your like I am going to have to get a job.

Unfortunately because you talked about your penis you are unhirable to the corporate world.. fun.. fun.. but then a knight comes along talking in a mouse like voice saying come blog on ishatonu.com and in a way it is a blessing cause just maybe I will make partner and make enough money to make my dreams come true.. unfortunately the pressure gets to you cause all you have done for the past few months is talk about your penis and it doesn't really seem like breaking news to talk about your penis... you do a bunch of videos and it just sounds like your lecturing people which doesn't work. People are tired of being lectured and the real genius of the online media is being able to reach people beyond the walls we all put up. To get around the natural programming of our lives and get people to consider a different persepctive because that is the real problem in the world. We have become so lazy that we never take the time to see other people's point of view.

So please forgive the igebadia his stage fright. I got my IE cheque in the mail today and I promise to buy lots of beer and do a video tomorrow where I will make fun of everything from the kitchen sink to the goat that was your first love tomorrow.. for now I am like George Castanzas penis after getting out of the cold pool.. there is shrinkage...

Yes I use to have a job but my boss decided to announce to the world I suffered from depression in the company parking lot and instead of going postal on him which would of been fun I quit my job... truth was he was hell to work for.. I suspect many of you can relate and perhaps in the comments you might share a story or two about some job you hated and why.. and thanks ishatonu... for thinking of me for your blog.

they call me igebadia... http://youtube.com/igebadia